I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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