Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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