i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
