your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
