Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
