Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
