Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
