Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
