whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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