Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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