Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
