I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
