i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
