I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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