I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
