This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
