Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
