I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
In America we eat man semen.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
