Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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