life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
