Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
