please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
