Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
