i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
