what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Semen is not good for contacts.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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