$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
