Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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