walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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