Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
