I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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