it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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