North Korea, Best Korea!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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