His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
