evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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