I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wish i was in the wii world.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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