I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
