So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
