i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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