New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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