11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
