it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
