He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
well you can't waste a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
