no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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