Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
