we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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