I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
