College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
