her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
