Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
