I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
