I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
