How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
